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Meeting the Right Person Starts With You

Wed, 24 Dec 2025 09:51:13 GMT

Reflections on Calling In The One and Relationships in Inverness

Books can sometimes act as mirrors, offering insight into patterns we may not have fully recognised before. Calling In The One is a thoughtful example of this. Rather than focusing on strategies for finding a partner, the book invites readers to turn inward and explore the relationship they have with themselves.

This perspective can feel unfamiliar in a culture that often encourages looking outward for fulfilment. Yet for many people, it resonates deeply.

The Patterns We Carry Into Relationships

At Change Your World Wellness Centre in Inverness, themes around relationships often emerge in coaching and group conversations. Patterns in relationships are rarely accidental. They are shaped by beliefs, boundaries, self-worth and past experiences, often formed long before we are aware of them.

T his can show up as:

Repeating the same relationship dynamics
Difficulty setting or maintaining boundaries
Fear of vulnerability or emotional closeness
Choosing partners who feel familiar rather than supportive
Feeling unfulfilled despite being in a relationship

Calling In The One encourages gentle reflection on these patterns, helping individuals recognise how internal beliefs influence external connections.

Turning the Focus Inward

A central message of Calling In The One is that meeting the right person is less about searching and more about becoming emotionally available, grounded and aligned within yourself.

The book explores themes such as self-responsibility, values, emotional readiness and conscious choice. Rather than suggesting someone else should complete you, it invites you to build a strong relationship with yourself first.

This work can feel challenging, particularly if past relationships have involved disappointment, loss or emotional pain. However, it is often through this inner exploration that clarity begins to emerge.

When Inner Work Creates Outer Change

As self awareness deepens, choices often begin to shift. Boundaries become clearer. Needs are better understood. Over time, this internal change can create a ripple effect, influencing the types of relationships you enter and how you show up within them.

Working on yourself is not about self blame. It is about recognising that growth begins within, and that this growth can support healthier, more fulfilling connections with others.

Support With Relationship Patterns

Coaching and counselling can offer a supportive space to explore relationship patterns, emotional blocks and self worth concerns. At Change Your World Wellness Centre in Inverness, this work is approached with compassion, curiosity and respect for each individual’s pace.

If you are reflecting on relationships and wondering what change might look like for you, support is available to help you explore these themes in a grounded and thoughtful way.

What Have YOU Been Meaning To Do?

Wed, 31 May 2023 00:00:00 GMT

Hi World Changer,

Happy June!

The better weather is definitely cause for celebration, but I’ve had two other reasons to celebrate. It was my birthday in May, but I also completed my first year of Counselling & Psychotherapy studies at University of Highlands and Islands (UHI) - so, I’m starting June with a real sense of achievement and growth.

I must confess I’ve become rather addicted to growth, it just feels so good, and I can’t get enough of feeling good!

Becoming a student again was not an easy decision, I’m still running Change Your World, I’m still a carer for my sister Shelly and have a busy family life with a partner and two step kids.

I had no idea how I was going to find the time to do a full-time course in Psychotherapy, but what I did know is the time was going to pass anyway, and I’d rather try and find a way than becoming another year older, with regret.

Is there something you have been meaning to do, but you keep putting off because you don’t have time?

I speak about regret a lot in my newsletters because I see it all the time.

I’ve seen it in my loved ones whose lives have been cut short by a terminal illness, but I see and hear it from my clients who still have the opportunity to do something about it.

When I started my course, I won’t lie, it was daunting, I was full of fear and insecurities. I had not been a student for 20+ years!

But, between all the fears and limiting beliefs -there was fun, new friendships, learning, expansion of my skillset and a growing determination to find a way to see it through.

There was a couple of people who dropped out in the early stages of the course, I remember thinking that the decision to quit seems worse than the changes I need to make to complete the course.

When something becomes important to you, your priorities change. Becoming a psychotherapist was now a goal and extremely important to me. It meant re-prioritising and I had to start saying no, so I could start creating space for the things I wanted to say yes to.

What do you want to say YES to?

When we say we don’t have time, what we’re really saying is its not a priority, because when we really want to do something, we make the time.

Try it - next time you find yourself saying “I don’t have time” , change it to “It’s not a priority for me” and feel the shift as you get honest with yourself and you realise what is important and what’s not.

When you figure out what is important, that’s when you will feel motivated to act.

I’d love to know what you discover and what you feel motivated to start.

Remember, if you are struggling and feel stuck, you want more for your life, then book in for a coaching session to get movement and direction back in your life.

With Love,

Suzy

Inspired By Spring: Changes, For The Better

Wed, 26 Apr 2023 00:00:00 GMT

Spring is a time for new beginnings and a chance to make changes in your life. It's a time to take stock of what you have achieved so far and set new goals for the future.

Spring is an opportunity to reinvent yourself, to start fresh and create something amazing. With the inspiration of spring, you can find the courage to make changes that will bring more joy and happiness into your life. So don't wait any longer - make this spring the beginning of something special!

Change can be daunting, and we understand that - but it doesn't have to be.

Evaluating your current situation and prioritising what needs to change is a great way to start making positive changes in your life. Take a moment of reflection right now - are you happy? If not, why not? Sometimes the answer isn't always as easy to pinpoint as we might hope - but, taking the time to assess your current lifestyle is a start.

Prioritising your wellbeing is key when it comes to changing your life for the better. It's important to recognise what areas of your life need improvement so that you can focus on making those changes first. Once those changes are made, you'll be able to move onto other aspects of your life that need attention, such as work or relationships.

By evaluating your situation and prioritising what needs to change, you'll be able to take control of your life and create a future filled with happiness and fulfilment.

At Change Your World we believe in the ripple effect. The power of small changes should not be underestimated. Every day, we can make small adjustments to our daily routines and habits that can have a big positive impact on our lives.

From taking a few extra minutes to meditate in the morning, to setting aside some time for yourself each day, even the smallest changes can have a positive ripple effect on your life.

These small changes are easy to implement and maintain, and they don’t require a lot of effort or time. They can help us become more productive, reduce stress levels, and improve our overall wellbeing. It's amazing how much of an impact even the simplest everyday changes can have on our lives!

Are you ready to take control of your life and create the future you have always dreamed of?

Our Change Your World Every Day Coaching Group can help you do just that. Our team of experienced coaches will guide and support you through a process of self-discovery, helping you to identify and remove any obstacles that are preventing you from achieving your goals. We provide the tools and guidance necessary to empower individuals to make positive changes in their lives, enabling them to reach their full potential. With our help, you can transform your life into a happier, healthier one and achieve the dreams that you desire.

Don't just take it from me - read some of our testimonials, below!

Ready to reach out? We can't wait to meet you - say hello, here .

With Love,

Suzy

Exploring 'Congruence'

gandmch@btinternet.com (Graham Havercroft) — Sat, 01 Apr 2023 00:00:00 GMT

In my Psychotherapy counselling course, we have been studying the subject of congruence.

Congruence is a term used by Carl Rogers (a humanistic psychologist) to describe a state in

which a person’s ideal self and actual experience match, and are consistent - or, very similar.

Does your ideal self-match your actual self?

The issue with living a life of incongruence is that it causes feelings of stress and anxiety, which leads to poor mental and physical health, not to mention a life of unhappiness.

The reason we form a ‘false’ self is because from a very young age, we develop belief systems based on our environment and influences from the significant people in our lives.

We’re shaped by the experiences we live. How we learn (or are taught) to respond, will create coping and defence mechanisms.

As children, we continually evaluate our surroundings for risk and safety. If we do not

feel safe,we develop ways to survive.

Its also worth noting it doesn’t have to be extreme trauma that makes children feel scared and unsafe - a stressed out, exhausted parent shouting at their children to get dressed, eat their breakfast, put on their shoes for the millionth time, can be enough to trigger the flight or flight response in a child.

Before you go beating yourself up because you did

this only this morning, you are only human, but this is why its so important to understand ourselves better, so we can act in a more empowered way.

The coping strategies we develop in childhood aren’t always healthy and do continue into adult life, holding us back from our true potential and living a congruent life, ( as well as making us lose our patience with our kids ).

If you want to find out more about how you can live life better and more in alignment with your

ideal self, then book in a free consultation call with me.

Or, explore our brand new website further to learn more about our services at Change Your World and how we can help you and your teams.

With Love,

Suzy

Are Monday Blues Getting You Down?

Wed, 22 Mar 2023 00:00:00 GMT

Does the start of your workweek trigger feelings of anxiety, sadness, or stress?

Do you feel uninspired and unmotivated on Monday mornings?

Do you feel sluggish or tense?

If the answer to any of these is YES - then you might be suffering from the 'Monday Blues.' But what exactly do we mean by the Monday Blues and how can things be improved to avoid these feelings of dread?

Recently, Suzy from Change Your World joined in on a conversation regarding Monday Blues on BBC Radio Scotland.

Is It Time To Quit?

gandmch@btinternet.com (Graham Havercroft) — Mon, 27 Feb 2023 00:00:00 GMT

There are times in our lives when you make the choice to quit and sometimes the world makes the choice for you, both are painful, however, with the right support, both can be the start of something better.

Hey World Changer,

It's March already! I love this time of year - it really does feel like a new energy is emerging, which means new beginnings, but it can mean endings also.

Nicola Sturgeon, Scotland’s First Minister, certainly took us all by surprise with her shock ending and the news of her resignation a few weeks ago.

Whether you’re a fan of Nicola or not, I thought her resignation speech was very inspiring and really did exemplify great leadership. Knowing when to quit something for the greater good of yourself and others really is an amazing quality.

You can listen to an interview discussing when to quit with Kaye Adams on Radio Scotland, here .

Quitting always gets such a negative judgement, it's viewed as a failure, but carrying on and burning yourself out causing yourself harm, is not a measure of success.

Don’t get me wrong, there have been many times in my life when I have exhausted myself to see something through to the end, but it has always been for something that’s important and quitting wasn’t an option because the alternative of staying with the status quo was worse. Discernment is the key here, weighing up the pros and cons and establishing which outcome is right for you, and the people around you. Evaluating your position to ensure it's not sacrificing your values, health and happiness.

Of course, sometimes we have to stay put. Limited resources, skillsets and opportunities can mean choices aren’t as abundant as we’d like and sometimes we have to do some things we don’t want to do in order to progress and create the life we really want to live.

Our Change Your World Every Day coach of the week, Simon Tyler, summed this up nicely in one of his sessions where he spoke about acceptance. Acceptance is a biggie, sometimes when life is challenging, upsetting and difficult. In these circumstances we don’t want to, or find it impossible, to accept our situation - but Simon offered a middle road and simply said “accept it for now”.

You can watch Simon’s coaching session on YouTube, here.